Foundering

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For weeks my body was shipped
Constantly losing much and never getting better and it
Kept getting darker and darker
As I stayed in, peeling the curtain back, 
Sweat-shaking dreams lingering,
Herded by nightmarish echoes
Of mutiny
As the sun shone, like jade, 359pm
There was light out, thoughts yawning,
859pm would have made more sense
Where do the shadow pains come from
Where does the sickness come from
And will it end?
I was managing it and I lost
All control of it and I stayed up to see
If I could get better, and I am not
getting better…food, waste, blood, raw sides, 
Bilging with madness, the ship moved, my head fell forward, 
Spinning 
While Almond’s children casted songs
Into the sunken mud,
Along the waterline they sank
Into dream-fields of soldering metal
Ties stitched with bodies and treasured gold
And I was watching the light leaven
The horizon, 
Watching it go and come back again
Days and days, never sleeping
Days and days, trying to get well enough,
To be seen by doctors
Who can not tell me anything
How many times will they look into my head and not find 
Anything?
I can feel it, my own body, waterlogged
Slapping the sides, in pain, grasping tiers of
swollen tides, stowaway, in an out, 
Of an uncontrolled madness
Digging for treasure, in a jade-wrecked, infused
Sickness 
Foundering within a mermaid’s
Song

clburdett, 2015
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